My Dear.
You
bear – such – beauty.
A hidden gem. And really, I’ve detested you for a long time and tonight set me thinking about when that changed. I feel like you’ve shared some of my deepest moments with me, or even as if you’ve triggered them.
And – forgive me – but REALLY it’s not for your looks. I’ve stopped to mention this fact when seeing you, and actually I forget to see it when seeing you… Don’t know how you did it!
Well as it turns out the facts are nonsense. I love that. They are not of sense, are they…
?
Anyhow. You’ve made me fall in love helplessly when listening to your music. At times – and they keep reoccuring though NEVER the same way – I just feel at the mercy of what you transport directly to my ears. It has all language there is and yet none.
It’s like your inner hall that in the light of the day is — 70ies uuurgh — strips itself of its reality when the heart becomes visible.
And your heart, my dear, is the orchestra. I’m not a soccer fan, really, but I’m the thickness of a hair close to saying that I am sooo proud of the Munich Philharmonic Orchestra. Just that I believe pretty much every orchestra rocks. Although……. (just kidding) Anyhow the guys are flawless magicians. Or it’s just magic pops up everywhere if I sit there.
I love you make me sit there.
I love you’ve hosted this dear old colleague of mine so often. Who regularly but unpredictably passes on his subscription tickets to lucky me. The magic starts right there. I am expert at forgetting the program, which he’ll forward to me or describe in loving detail. I’ll maybe rememer the first piece. But I arrive at my seat. Without memory but with heartfelt suspense on what awaits me. Like a child masked as a grown-up.
I love the place you provide me. A place of sheer beauty, as I feel as if on top of a mountain with a view less of the whole room but of the whole audience. A bit like seeing the universe. Actually a LOT like seeing the universe. It’s incredibly beautiful.
I might want to go for first row seats in a theatre (which is amazing), but with you I love to see and hear all there is from the top far far away rows.
The orchestra starts and it lies there – at the core of a sphere, while I sit there. Than the music sucks in the room. It sucks away its ugliness, it sucks away my thoughts, it spits them out again in unexpected places, it plays with all there is, until I realize I’ve just witnessed a moment where I (whoever she is) dissolved into music.
And when the orchestra stops or rather pauses – I hear the silence. Together with hundreds of people. I so love that. It is as if I can see something breathe that’s all those people together and yet – like a living organism on its own.
And the orchestra is your moving organ at the core – the heart. I have taken a million perspectives seeing listening reflecting on your core. I’ll follow instruments, I’ll secretly smile at the flute player (ALWAYS) – but there’s this moment where I only see the movement of it all. As if the conductor causes waves that ripple through the whole thing.
At times I’m not sure who starts what.
The orchestra ripples back to the conductor and he takes it up…
The music takes me places. But I swear to God (whoever she is) at times I am taking the music to places and it feels as if it follows me.
That piece today that made me love you all over again today? I checked – afterwards…. – it’s called the echoes of a solitary voice.
It was as if the music were looking at me, seeing my core and finding words for it that I will never ever posess. Without words! Isn’t that simply amazing?!
I love writing about this cause it is so – free. Meaningless. It is with this that I bow to the music which presents us with presence and the present of just floating in midair and into my ear. Just out of the joy of being here and what comes with it.
Should my ears cease to pick up all the details, may my memory not lose the precious sound of silence.
So – dear Munich Philharmony, dear Gasteig – just continue snuggling against one of the few hills this town has to offer – snuggle there in all your ugliness and keep our open secret of true beauty…
